Everyone Is Stupid But Me

Two Minute Drill Episode 1

When did Valentine’s Day start?

Valentine’s Day, celebrated worldwide every year on February 14th, was originally a religious holiday. It was established as the feast day of St. Valentine by the Catholic church in 500 AD.
Why February 14th? Well, for that we can thank Pope Gelasius. It was he who established the feast day of St. Valentine, and he set the date for it directly on top of the old Roman festival of Lupercalia, which he abolished in his quest to stamp out fun all throughout his sphere of influence. Lupercalia was a pagan festival related to fertility, and ‘pagan’ ‘festival’ and ‘fertility’ are not words Pope Gelasius was prepared to tolerate, so it was replaced by the church sanctioned feast of St. Valentine, much the way the camp counselor who let you drink beer was replaced by the eagle scout with the telescope.

Now, back in the 6th century, the feast of St. Valentine’s was just like any other Catholic feast day – mostly full of masses and heavy eyelids. No cards or chocolates.

There’s no mention of Valentine’s day as a secular or romantic holiday until Geoffrey Chaucer, in 1382, who speaks of birds coming on St. Valentine’s day to choose their mates. From there we lose the trail until it’s mentioned again in 1600 by an obscure playwright, by the name of Bill Shakespeare, in his wildly mediocre work, Hamlet. You may also know it by the name Othello. (False)

It really didn’t start to resemble our modern holiday until the 1800s. That was when the giving of cards, or valentines, became popular enough that they were mass produced. Not too long after that, in 1969, the Pope officially de-churchified the holiday, removing it from the church calendar. The reason? “Well, there were 3 St. Valentine’s, and other than the fact that one of them was buried in Italy about 1600 years ago we frankly don’t know a damn thing about them.” His words; not mine.

And now, valentine’s day is a billion dollar industry, with over 190 million valentines being sent every year. Not counting the handmade valentines that every grade school student makes or the e-valentines sent out! Of course, between advertising, rampant commercialism, and, well, women, valentine’s day is much more than cards saying that you enjoy a person’s company. It’s a whole production, involving massive ad campaigns, flowers, chocolate, stuffed animals, fancy dinners, jewelry, proposals, and, oh yes, the valentine itself. From hallmark.

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